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Trading cards! Why should Antonio Brown and Kevin Durant and Mike Trout have all the fun? There are athletes on TV and in the movies, too.
They’re just as entertaining. We thought we’d help them out and give them the cards their exploits have earned.
‘…for the children, so they can look at that trophy and know that they too can peak at 17.’
‘Nothing like a farm. Nothing like being around animals, fixing things. There’s nothing like being in the field with the corn and the winter wheat.
The greenest stuff you ever saw.’
‘Gotta get to work, that’s right. You know. Come on!’
Uh! Come on! Come on!
Come on! Come on! You know my name, my name is Willie.
Willie Beamen! I keep my ladies… creamin’! And all my fans… all them screamin’!
Think you can defeat me? You are dreamin’!’
‘Listen son. You’re going to be able to do a lot of things the other guys aren’t.’
‘Oh yeah, like chase cars, and bite the mailman?’
‘Yeah, I was in the show. I was in the show for 21 days once – the 21 greatest days of my life. You know, you never handle your luggage in the show, somebody else carries your bags.
It was great. You hit white balls for batting practice, the ballparks are like cathedrals, the hotels all have room service, and the women all have long legs and brains.’
‘I’m Forrest Gump. When I was a baby Momma named me after the great civil war hero general Nathan Bedford Forrest. She said we were related to him in some way what he did was:
he started up this club called the Ku Klux Klan they’d all dress up in their robes and their bed sheets and act like a bunch of ghosts and spooks or something. They’d even put bed sheets on their horses and ride around and anyway that’s how I got my name Forrest Gump.’
‘Oh man shut your anorexic malnutrition tapeworm-having overdose on Dick Gregory Bahamian diet-drinking ass up. Leave me alone!’
‘My name is Drago. I’m a fighter from the Soviet Union. I fight all my life and I never lose. Soon I fight Rocky Balboa, and the world will see his defeat.
Soon, the whole world will know my name.’
‘I’m *what*? I’m bein’ your goddamn slave is what I’m bein’ here man, now c’mon we made a deal here! When do I learn how to punch?’